Have you ever felt that way? In your job, or in your educational pursuits? Or in any pursuit in your life? That’s how I have felt about painting for a few weeks now. Why? I don’t know. There is no set of occurrences or communications that preceded it. I just felt like I had painted everything I could paint and I was finished. There was not even one more painting in me. I know this is not a logical thought. This is purely an emotional reaction. One can never be finished with creative production. So, what should I do with these feelings (I can’t call them thoughts because they are not the product of rational thinking.) I am not sure. I do know that for the past month or so I have been looking at a lot of pastel artists and instead of just enjoying their work, I have been measuring myself against them. I don’t think that is a good thing. Appreciating them and being delighted by their vision is good. Grading myself against them…not so much. So, what can I do? It is not easy to get off this ride.

The first thing I did was to simply repudiate those feelings. Refuse these feelings. I have the power to do that. Second, I thought about what I could do to jar myself into a different space. Something that would dislodge the stuck part of my emotional brain and push it into a a more productive place. So, I signed up for a online class and then joined a plein air painting group. The class will focus my thinking, offer new insights and perhaps some outside help in a safe environment. What will the plein air painting do? It will accomplish the most important but difficult task for me. Force me into social situations. Not just social situations, but social situations with other artists. NOT EASY. I am an avowed introvert who has all kinds of stage fright. I don’t know what fruit this plan will bear, but I will let you know!

IN the meantime, if you have any suggestions or methods you have used to jump the empty tank hurdle, let me know in the comments.

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